New Orleans Mon Amour

So, the good news, no, the great news is that I was offered the job at the Asheville Museum of Art. I accepted the job today, and beginning Monday I will be fundraising to expand the Museum. I was giddy all the way to the Museum (I felt that they were going to offer me the job, but I wasn't sure) and I felt elated when the director said she wanted me to join her team.

So what's the bad news, right?

I felt down for the remainder of the day. I attributed my blues to the feeling you get after a big event you've been looking forward to has come and gone. But later I realized it was something else.

I still have a few odds and ends to unpack and put away and tonight I decided to tackle a few boxes since Tom was playing poker with the boys and I had nothing else to do. After an hour or so I came across a poster tube. I was curious to see what was in it so I opened it and found a Jazz Fest poster from 1982 and a French Quarter scene called 'Desire of Yesterday' both given to me by my grandmother Susan.

And it hit me HARD. I have a job now. Tom and I have bought a house. This is permanent. We are no longer citizens of New Orleans. And I sat down and cried.

I have long had a love affair with the city of New Orleans. Long before I ever developed crushes on boys, I had a deep infatuation with New Orleans. Before the storm Tom would drive me around the city and I would sigh as I looked at the grand Live Oaks draping themselves over Esplanade and say, "I love New Orleans." Tom would grin at me and I appreciated that he wasn't jealous of his rival. Oh, my lost lovely city.

We chose to leave and I wouldn't change it. We're happy here and I feel safe. There have been too many signs that for us, leaving was the right thing to do. But it does feel as if I have broken up with someone very special. Someone with whom I have had a lifelong love affair - and it hurts. And, quite frankly, it pisses me off. Why couldn't have things been different after Katrina? Why did politics and the Ole Boys Club have to continue 'business as usual'? Why am I getting phone calls that two of my friends, still toughing it out in the Big Easy, have had their houses broken into in the past week? Why did so many people have to die? Why haven't the levees been repaired?

I could go on and on, but it basically comes down to this - I wish it could've been different, I regret the circumstances that pushed Tom and me to leave, I miss the city of my childhood and early 20's, but I don't miss life in New Orleans post-Katrina.

So I will have to fall in love with Asheville. She's a very beguiling city - currently showing off by adorning herself in dogwood and cherry blossom blooms - and I often see a flash of New Orleans in her people; music is big here as are dreadlocks and tattoos. Papa, Jason and I used to spend hours people-watching in the Quarter. I have to remember that the soul of a city is its people and the people here are wonderful. Like New Orleans, Asheville is made up of so many different kinds of people.

But New Orleans will always be my first love - and you never forget your first love.